{"id":25283,"date":"2022-07-20T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-07-19T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tzuchiculture.daai.site\/?p=25283"},"modified":"2022-10-24T16:09:22","modified_gmt":"2022-10-24T08:09:22","slug":"when-a-professional-care-provider-becomes-her-mothers-caregiver","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/?p=25283","title":{"rendered":"When a Professional Care Provider Becomes Her Mother\u2019s Caregiver"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"25283\" class=\"elementor elementor-25283\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5074418 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5074418\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-90a7983\" data-id=\"90a7983\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5e6e073 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5e6e073\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.8.1 - 13-11-2022 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#818a91;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#818a91;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<p><strong>Text and photo by Liao Ming-yu<\/strong><br \/>Translated by Wu Hsiao-ting<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-6ef0d37 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"6ef0d37\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-957d215\" data-id=\"957d215\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7c10770 elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"7c10770\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.8.1 - 13-11-2022 *\/\n.elementor-widget-divider{--divider-border-style:none;--divider-border-width:1px;--divider-color:#2c2c2c;--divider-icon-size:20px;--divider-element-spacing:10px;--divider-pattern-height:24px;--divider-pattern-size:20px;--divider-pattern-url:none;--divider-pattern-repeat:repeat-x}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider{display:-webkit-box;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider__text{font-size:15px;line-height:1;max-width:95%}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider__element{margin:0 var(--divider-element-spacing);-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-icon{font-size:var(--divider-icon-size)}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider-separator{display:-webkit-box;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:0;direction:ltr}.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_icon .elementor-divider-separator,.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_text .elementor-divider-separator{-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_icon .elementor-divider-separator:after,.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_icon .elementor-divider-separator:before,.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_text .elementor-divider-separator:after,.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_text .elementor-divider-separator:before{display:block;content:\"\";border-bottom:0;-webkit-box-flex:1;-ms-flex-positive:1;flex-grow:1;border-top:var(--divider-border-width) var(--divider-border-style) var(--divider-color)}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-left .elementor-divider .elementor-divider-separator>.elementor-divider__svg:first-of-type{-webkit-box-flex:0;-ms-flex-positive:0;flex-grow:0;-ms-flex-negative:100;flex-shrink:100}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-left .elementor-divider-separator:before{content:none}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-left .elementor-divider__element{margin-left:0}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-right .elementor-divider .elementor-divider-separator>.elementor-divider__svg:last-of-type{-webkit-box-flex:0;-ms-flex-positive:0;flex-grow:0;-ms-flex-negative:100;flex-shrink:100}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-right .elementor-divider-separator:after{content:none}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-right .elementor-divider__element{margin-right:0}.elementor-widget-divider:not(.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_text):not(.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_icon) .elementor-divider-separator{border-top:var(--divider-border-width) var(--divider-border-style) var(--divider-color)}.elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern{--divider-border-style:none}.elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern.elementor-widget-divider--view-line .elementor-divider-separator,.elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern:not(.elementor-widget-divider--view-line) .elementor-divider-separator:after,.elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern:not(.elementor-widget-divider--view-line) .elementor-divider-separator:before,.elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern:not([class*=elementor-widget-divider--view]) .elementor-divider-separator{width:100%;min-height:var(--divider-pattern-height);-webkit-mask-size:var(--divider-pattern-size) 100%;mask-size:var(--divider-pattern-size) 100%;-webkit-mask-repeat:var(--divider-pattern-repeat);mask-repeat:var(--divider-pattern-repeat);background-color:var(--divider-color);-webkit-mask-image:var(--divider-pattern-url);mask-image:var(--divider-pattern-url)}.elementor-widget-divider--no-spacing{--divider-pattern-size:auto}.elementor-widget-divider--bg-round{--divider-pattern-repeat:round}.rtl .elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider__text{direction:rtl}.e-con-inner>.elementor-widget-divider,.e-con>.elementor-widget-divider{width:var(--container-widget-width,100%)}<\/style>\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-246d6b8 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"246d6b8\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-6162d5b\" data-id=\"6162d5b\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b52e61e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"b52e61e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_animation_mobile&quot;:&quot;fadeIn&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><em><strong>As a professional care provider, she has cared for many older people afflicted with dementia. But caring for her own mother with Alzheimer\u2019s has still proved a difficult challenge.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-586affe elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"586affe\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-f843b97\" data-id=\"f843b97\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-728ce3a elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"728ce3a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-d2f7703 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"d2f7703\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-6e0d340\" data-id=\"6e0d340\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e4d96cb elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"e4d96cb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.8.1 - 13-11-2022 *\/\n.elementor-widget-image{text-align:center}.elementor-widget-image a{display:inline-block}.elementor-widget-image a img[src$=\".svg\"]{width:48px}.elementor-widget-image img{vertical-align:middle;display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1440\" height=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2022\/08\/3_IMG_0505.jpg\" class=\"attachment-full size-full\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2022\/08\/3_IMG_0505.jpg 1440w, https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2022\/08\/3_IMG_0505-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2022\/08\/3_IMG_0505-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2022\/08\/3_IMG_0505-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2022\/08\/3_IMG_0505-600x400.jpg 600w, https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2022\/08\/3_IMG_0505-330x220.jpg 330w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1440px) 100vw, 1440px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-2bd109a elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"2bd109a\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-30de080\" data-id=\"30de080\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-61f0c6f elementor-drop-cap-yes elementor-drop-cap-view-default elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"61f0c6f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;drop_cap&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Zheng Qiu-yun (\u912d\u79cb\u96f2), 62, is a professional home care worker. She is also single. That\u2019s why she thought it a matter of course for her to become her parents\u2019 caregiver when they fell ill.<\/p><p>A bed with handrails is the first thing Zheng sees as she walks through the door to her home. Next to the bed is a wheelchair. Before she goes into her room to change out of her volunteer uniform, she walks over to the bed to check on her mother.<\/p><p>Zheng\u2019s younger sister has recently moved back with her and their mother. With her around to help tend to their mother\u2019s needs, Zheng finally has more time for herself. She uses that precious time off to volunteer. For her, volunteering is the best way to recharge her batteries and regulate her emotions.<\/p><p>Zheng used to run a boutique in Taichung, central Taiwan, but she lost all her store\u2019s goods to a break-in burglary more than 20 years ago, and ran up a huge debt as a result. It was only with the help of Buddhism, with which she came into touch later, that she came to realize life\u2019s impermanent nature. Since everything we own is ephemeral, it\u2019s best not to become attached to anything. That way of thinking eventually helped her to come to terms with her loss. After paying off her debt, she changed careers and became a licensed home care provider. Besides working as a caregiver, she also began serving actively as a Tzu Chi hospital volunteer. Being warm-hearted, loving, and patient, she gained the trust of many older people and medical professionals.<\/p><p>Four years ago, her then 89-year-old father fell down and required care. Zheng moved back to her childhood home in Yilan, northeastern Taiwan, to help take care of him. He passed away three years later. But then her mother\u2019s health rapidly declined. She was diagnosed first with Parkinson\u2019s, then dementia. She became unruly. \u201cShe began to get easily depressed, agitated, and restless,\u201d Zheng said. \u201cShe refused to take medicine. She wore a permanent frown and was quick to lash out. When I drove her anywhere, she\u2019d let loose with a torrent of abuse whenever we stopped at a traffic light. Just me leaving the car for five minutes to buy stuff could set her off screaming and crying.\u201d<\/p><p>Having cared for many older people suffering from dementia, Zheng knew that her mother was displaying dementia symptoms and that things would only get worse. She tried her best to build a mental fortress so that she would have the fortitude to take whatever came her way.<\/p><p>Zheng has now cared for her mother for about a year. Even though she is mentally prepared, there have been times when she felt she could not cope. For example, \u201cMy mom would ask to go to the bathroom every five or ten minutes at night. I couldn\u2019t get any sleep.\u201d There is only so much one can take. When Zheng feels she is losing it, she tells herself: \u201cShe\u2019s my mom. She\u2019s sick. She isn\u2019t doing this on purpose.\u201d<\/p><p>A Tzu Chi volunteer has to abide by ten precepts. One of them is \u201cRespect your parents and be moderate in speech and attitude.\u201d She uses this as a reminder to be patient towards her mother. At night, when she lies down in a bed next to her mother\u2019s bed to go to sleep, she chants the Buddha\u2019s name to calm her mind. She can\u2019t predict how much longer her mom will need her care. She prays for more patience and strength, and thinks back on the hard work her mother put into raising her. If for nothing else, she wants to do a good job taking care of her to repay her love.<\/p><p>Zheng has worked as a care provider at a seniors\u2019 daycare center in Su\u2019ao, Yilan, since her father passed away. She takes her mother with her to the center, where she receives proper care while she works. When she has volunteer work to do and there is no one to look after her mom for her, she takes her volunteering too. For example, at the end of last year, Zheng and her fellow volunteers pitched in to help lay paving bricks for a Tzu Chi recycling station in Luodong, Yilan. While she worked hard in the sun moving bricks, her mother sat in a wheelchair under a tree nearby watching the work. That was one of the most peaceful moments she has enjoyed with her mom.<\/p><p>Though Zheng is a professional caregiver, caring for older people at work is a different matter from caring for her own mom. She can call it a day at work, but there is no such thing as \u201ccalling it a day\u201d when it comes to caring for her mom. Zheng knows that she isn\u2019t getting any younger and that her strength or stamina is sure to decline down the road. She has told her younger siblings that they all have a responsibility to help care for their mother and that if one day none of them is able to care for her, they will have to make other arrangements for their mother to age in peace. Fortunately, though her siblings all have their own families to take care of, they do their best to help out. Whenever she asks for help, they never turn a deaf ear.<\/p><p>On this day, Zheng looked at the time and saw it was time to go volunteer. She quickly changed into her volunteer uniform. \u201cWe are delivering a second-hand bed to the home of an older person who lives alone,\u201d she explained. Both Zheng and her younger sister were sporting large dark circles under their eyes. Their mother must have been refusing to sleep at night again.<\/p><p>For Zheng, a change of work is as good as a rest. She headed out for her volunteer assignment, seizing another opportunity to recharge her batteries.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-253c58d elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"253c58d\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-cc35b70\" data-id=\"cc35b70\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-91cb90f elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"91cb90f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"189\" height=\"170\" src=\"https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2022\/07\/\u82f1\u6587\u9801\u5c3e-2.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As a professional care provider, she has cared for many older people afflicted with dementia. But caring for her o\u2026 <a class=\"text-right\" href=\"https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/?p=25283\"><span class=\"text\">Read More <\/span><span class=\"arrow\">\u00bb<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15894,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"pmpro_default_level":0,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[917],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>When a Professional Care Provider Becomes Her Mother\u2019s Caregiver - Tzu Chi Bimonthly<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/?p=25283\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"zh_TW\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When a Professional Care Provider Becomes Her Mother\u2019s Caregiver - Tzu Chi Bimonthly\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As a professional care provider, she has cared for many older people afflicted with dementia. 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