{"id":47054,"date":"2023-09-15T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-09-14T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/?p=47054"},"modified":"2023-09-15T22:41:04","modified_gmt":"2023-09-15T14:41:04","slug":"gifts-from-the-heart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/?p=47054","title":{"rendered":"Gifts From the Heart"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"47054\" class=\"elementor elementor-47054\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-750faf74 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"750faf74\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-1509bcf7\" data-id=\"1509bcf7\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-47727333 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"47727333\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.8.1 - 13-11-2022 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#818a91;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#818a91;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<p><strong>By Li Qiu-yue, Tzu Chi Teachers Association<\/strong><br \/>Edited and translated by Wu Hsiao-ting<br \/>Graphic by Zhong Ting-jia<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-21938457 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"21938457\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-119dafb9\" data-id=\"119dafb9\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7b3b92df elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"7b3b92df\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.8.1 - 13-11-2022 *\/\n.elementor-widget-divider{--divider-border-style:none;--divider-border-width:1px;--divider-color:#2c2c2c;--divider-icon-size:20px;--divider-element-spacing:10px;--divider-pattern-height:24px;--divider-pattern-size:20px;--divider-pattern-url:none;--divider-pattern-repeat:repeat-x}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider{display:-webkit-box;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider__text{font-size:15px;line-height:1;max-width:95%}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider__element{margin:0 var(--divider-element-spacing);-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-icon{font-size:var(--divider-icon-size)}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider-separator{display:-webkit-box;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:0;direction:ltr}.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_icon .elementor-divider-separator,.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_text .elementor-divider-separator{-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_icon .elementor-divider-separator:after,.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_icon .elementor-divider-separator:before,.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_text .elementor-divider-separator:after,.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_text .elementor-divider-separator:before{display:block;content:\"\";border-bottom:0;-webkit-box-flex:1;-ms-flex-positive:1;flex-grow:1;border-top:var(--divider-border-width) var(--divider-border-style) var(--divider-color)}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-left .elementor-divider .elementor-divider-separator>.elementor-divider__svg:first-of-type{-webkit-box-flex:0;-ms-flex-positive:0;flex-grow:0;-ms-flex-negative:100;flex-shrink:100}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-left .elementor-divider-separator:before{content:none}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-left .elementor-divider__element{margin-left:0}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-right .elementor-divider .elementor-divider-separator>.elementor-divider__svg:last-of-type{-webkit-box-flex:0;-ms-flex-positive:0;flex-grow:0;-ms-flex-negative:100;flex-shrink:100}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-right .elementor-divider-separator:after{content:none}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-right .elementor-divider__element{margin-right:0}.elementor-widget-divider:not(.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_text):not(.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_icon) .elementor-divider-separator{border-top:var(--divider-border-width) var(--divider-border-style) var(--divider-color)}.elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern{--divider-border-style:none}.elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern.elementor-widget-divider--view-line .elementor-divider-separator,.elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern:not(.elementor-widget-divider--view-line) .elementor-divider-separator:after,.elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern:not(.elementor-widget-divider--view-line) .elementor-divider-separator:before,.elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern:not([class*=elementor-widget-divider--view]) .elementor-divider-separator{width:100%;min-height:var(--divider-pattern-height);-webkit-mask-size:var(--divider-pattern-size) 100%;mask-size:var(--divider-pattern-size) 100%;-webkit-mask-repeat:var(--divider-pattern-repeat);mask-repeat:var(--divider-pattern-repeat);background-color:var(--divider-color);-webkit-mask-image:var(--divider-pattern-url);mask-image:var(--divider-pattern-url)}.elementor-widget-divider--no-spacing{--divider-pattern-size:auto}.elementor-widget-divider--bg-round{--divider-pattern-repeat:round}.rtl .elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider__text{direction:rtl}.e-con-inner>.elementor-widget-divider,.e-con>.elementor-widget-divider{width:var(--container-widget-width,100%)}<\/style>\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-69734e64 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"69734e64\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-775a6978\" data-id=\"775a6978\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e6c4d47 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"e6c4d47\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_animation_mobile&quot;:&quot;fadeIn&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong><em>Gift-giving can be a challenge, especially when it comes to parents. This article offers tips for a delightful exchange of giving and receiving gifts.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-16eaed83 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"16eaed83\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-da3dbd5\" data-id=\"da3dbd5\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-620155dc elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"620155dc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-19e54805 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"19e54805\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4e4f3da3\" data-id=\"4e4f3da3\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1af9484d elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"1af9484d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.8.1 - 13-11-2022 *\/\n.elementor-widget-image{text-align:center}.elementor-widget-image a{display:inline-block}.elementor-widget-image a img[src$=\".svg\"]{width:48px}.elementor-widget-image img{vertical-align:middle;display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1440\" height=\"1281\" src=\"https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/09\/PNG.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/09\/PNG.png 1440w, https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/09\/PNG-300x267.png 300w, https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/09\/PNG-1024x911.png 1024w, https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2023\/09\/PNG-768x683.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1440px) 100vw, 1440px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-37fb442e elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"37fb442e\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-778abdd\" data-id=\"778abdd\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1547050f elementor-drop-cap-yes elementor-drop-cap-view-default elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"1547050f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;drop_cap&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>A student was stumped by what gifts to give his parents. \u201cIt\u2019s easy to find gifts for classmates, but I\u2019m not sure what to give my mom and dad to truly make them happy.\u201d<\/p><p>This situation reminded me of what happened a month before my birthday this year. My younger son called and asked me what gift I wanted. I told him I needed a new hairdryer and asked if he could get me a pink one. On my birthday, I received a hairdryer jointly gifted by both my sons. I was overjoyed and couldn\u2019t stop admiring it, as the color and design were both my favorites.<\/p><p>I faced a similar dilemma in the past as the student when selecting a birthday gift for my mother-in-law. Whenever I asked her what she wanted, she would often say, \u201cAnything is fine.\u201d So, for a while, I bought her gold jewelry. But then later she said she was getting older and didn\u2019t wear accessories often. So, I switched to giving her clothes. But she then said she couldn\u2019t wear all the clothes. Eventually, I had no choice but to opt for the hassle-free option of giving her money.<\/p><p>Based on my experiences, I have a few suggestions to ease the worries of gift-givers and bring joy to gift-receivers.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-76c1a5df elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"76c1a5df\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-66050d1c\" data-id=\"66050d1c\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-75711358 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"75711358\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h5><strong>Intergenerational communication<\/strong><\/h5>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2285241 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2285241\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>During my younger days, as I headed off to college and relocated away from home, I found myself yearning for my mother\u2019s cooking. Memories of her culinary prowess haunted me, and I would catch myself unconsciously licking my lips, yearning for her mouthwatering dishes.<\/p><p>To soothe this longing, I would always call my mom one week before returning to my hometown, letting her know the date I\u2019d be coming home and the dishes I\u2019d love to eat. Upon arrival, I\u2019d savor the dishes I had missed, and my mother\u2019s happiness was evident in her smile when she saw the empty plates. It was a delightful cooking experience for her and a satisfying meal for me. Every time I went home, it was a joyful reunion between my mother and me, and it eased my home\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00adsickness.<\/p><p>Recently, I came to the realization that the act of pre-ordering meals during my college days was a form of \u201cintergenerational communication,\u201d now being promoted by experts. To spare yourself the headache of not knowing what gifts to give your parents and to bring them happiness, I encourage you to utilize intergenerational communication effectively. Clearly and specifically express your thoughts to your parents, explaining your intentions. I trust that your parents will be more than willing to cooperate, leading to a delightful exchange of giving and receiving gifts.<\/p><p>Take myself as an example. To help our children avoid the dilemma I used to experience with my mother-in-law, once they started earning an income, both my husband and I openly and clearly expressed our most desired gifts for the year. Thanks to transparent communication, our children can fulfill our wishes without any uncertainty and spare us the disappointment of receiving unwanted gifts.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1150c3ca elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1150c3ca\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-2b4990da\" data-id=\"2b4990da\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5577af9b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5577af9b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h5><strong>Sincerity and mindfulness are the key<\/strong><\/h5>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-69421bcd elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"69421bcd\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>That said, gifts for parents don\u2019t always have to be bought with money; you can create heartfelt homemade cards or showcase your culinary skills by treating them to a delicious meal.<\/p><p>I once designed a worksheet for students to write \u201cOne Hundred Good Things About Mom [or Dad]\u201d and personally sent this special gift to each parent a week before Mother\u2019s or Father\u2019s Day. When parents received this unique present, many of them were deeply moved and called me to express their gratitude, saying, \u201cThank you so much! This is the best gift I have ever received in my life. I will frame it as a keepsake!\u201d<\/p><p>My two children also wrote a list of \u201cOne Hundred Good Things About Mom\u201d and gave it to me. As I looked at the list, it made me laugh and cry in turns. It turned out that in my children\u2019s eyes, besides taking care of their basic needs, I was also a mom who nagged, was decisive, and could be playful!<\/p><p>This gift means so much to me I still keep it in my safe, and I often take it out to reminisce about my younger self. I am deeply grateful for my children\u2019s love and keen observations. Their list to me created beautiful and timeless memories for me.<\/p><p>In the end, the essence of gift-giving lies in sincerity and mindfulness. As Dharma Master Cheng Yen said, \u201cProficiency comes from mindfulness.\u201d By being mindful and genuinely thoughtful, you can make people feel the depth of your care through your gifts. Inquiring about preferences and observing with care will undoubtedly lead you to find gifts that bring joy and leave a lasting impact on your recipients.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-28f16881 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"28f16881\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-9080bba\" data-id=\"9080bba\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-193ed441 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"193ed441\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"189\" height=\"170\" src=\"https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2022\/07\/\u82f1\u6587\u9801\u5c3e-2.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Gift-giving can be a challenge, especially when it comes to parents. This article offers tips for a delightful exc\u2026 <a class=\"text-right\" href=\"https:\/\/tcmonthly.tzuchiculture.org.tw\/?p=47054\"><span class=\"text\">Read More <\/span><span class=\"arrow\">\u00bb<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":46863,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"pmpro_default_level":0,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[1740],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Gifts From the Heart - Tzu Chi Bimonthly<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Gift-giving can be a challenge, especially when it comes to parents. 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